Jason writes: “is there such a thing as being too avant garde? it’s a yes or no question, so the following is a brief why.
the new avant-garde is to be as mainstream and as predictable as possible. so what would be more mainstream than writing about the super bowl?
4:55pm CST – the cirque du soleil pre-game show is on. is it just me, or are all the people in the performance wearing indianapolis jerseys white, and all the performers wearing chicago jerseys black?
well i guess it doesn’t matter because the performance was AMAZING. i mean, totally worth the price of admission. i think people will still be talking about it tomorrow. it – was – awesome.
5:04 – jim nantz
: “welcome to america’s greatest sports spectacle.” guy debord
would be proud.
5:13 – based upon each team’s entrance onto the field, the colts look to be more emotionally pumped up. they were running, yelling, hitting each other. the bears just kind of jogged out and looked around.
5:17 – billy joel – any chance he will sing “piano man” instead?
5:18 – no.
5:19 – hey look – the deaf lady from the show that used to be on television! they got her to – sign the national anthem.
5:20 – prediction: bear 34, colts 17.
5:21 – i can tell already this super bowl is going to be a letdown in comparison to last year
5:22 – is it wrong to want hope norbit
dies at the end of his movie?
5:24 – they said all week kickoff was going to occur at 5:25. no chance they will make it. we haven’t even tossed the coin yet.
5:27 – kickoff is about to occur. i feel like hester is going to run this back.
5:28 – i swear i wrote that before it happened.
5:34 – two false starts and manning is already pissed.
5:36 – katie couric, you suck. kagan’s
been doing positive stories since november.
5:37 – bob sanders
has got to be the coolest guy in the nfl.
5:39 – the beard comb-over. pretty funny.
5:40 – tracy morgan. i hope for more of him.
5:41 – it’s raining during the super bowl. what the hell, god?
5:50 – it’s great when the field-level mics pick up swear words.
5:52 – phil simms
just said “you gotta get up the field to stop the runs.”
5:56 – pride
. tom arnold is in it. bernie mac is cracking penis size jokes in the preview. then it gets serious. it’s a race thing too? at a swim meet? am i to laugh? am i to contemplate race relations in america? tom arnold's in it for christ's sake. i’m so confused.
6:14 – david spade is looking a little rough.
6:17 – the coca-cola/video game/grand theft auto/end of the world/love commercial has to be the oddest one yet. it made me feel a little uncomfortable. it didn’t make me want to buy coke.
6:33 – i keep falling asleep. i don’t know if it’s all the pizza i ate or the game that is making me drowsy.
6:34 – colts score a touchdown – momentum has shifted.
6:39 – i don’t know if you have heard, but there are two african-american head coaches in today’s game.
6:43 – it’s about time for the bears to pick-off manning and run it all the way back.
6:45 – well, that didn’t happen.
6:46 – tim allen and john travolta riding their hogs
across the country? i can hear the oscar buzz already.
6:54 – the coke commercial with the old man, the one where he has some coke and then runs with the bulls, jumps off the high dive, and rides the motorcycle. he must have had a lot of coke. cocaine.
6:56 – vinatieri missed. whoa.
7:07 – i assumed prince
alone would have been able to stop the rain when he walked on stage. he didn’t. does he not have the power? no, you say?
next you’re going to tell me there were no weapons of mass destruction.
7:14 – i stand corrected: prince is purposely creating the rain. duh. he needs it for “purple rain
7:17 – prince was a perfect choice for the super bowl. he performed to the spectacle. he was great.
7:24 – carlos mencia. he just doesn’t do it for me.
7:35 – i need to remember to draft joseph addai
in my fantasy league next season.
7:36 – more curses words heard. awesome.
7:44 – wild hogs was just advertised as “the comedy event of the spring.”
7:45 – it has only been thirty minutes since prince performed. it seems like six hours. i wish he’d come back.
7:46 – hey nantz, it’s booger
. not anthony.
7:47 – grossman fumbled the snap. again. cue circus music and slo-mo replay.
7:48 – who doesn’t like talking animals? thanks taco bell for the lions.
7:50 – i don’t understand how we – the collective world – can do a total face transplant to replace someone’s destroyed visage but we can’t keep a camera lens dry in the rain. it’s 2007 and we don’t have this technology? what are our scientists doing?
7:57 – robert goulet commerical – that was a good one.
7:58 – ugh, nasty. i just verped. (i added this solely to see if it was in wikipedia. sadly, it is not. someone should really add this entry. soon.)
8:06 – it took this long, but finally jim nantz brings up tank johnson
and his multiple arrests
. always a nice story.
8:13 – yeah, i’m sure cargill
has the best interests of small farmers in mind.
8:22 – unless things change, rex grossman is going to have a long offseason.
8:29 – cato june
is my second favorite name in football. (ebenezer ekuban
is my favorite.)
8:30 – rex grossman may be hanged this week in chicago. he better just stay in Miami until may or june.
8:31 – everyone is going to be so cranky at work tomorrow. everyone but the girl from indianapolis. and me.
8:44 – it’s over.
8:49 – the score isn’t a final yet, but the colts will soon have won. i don’t think i’ll remember much about this super bowl. except for the rain. that is probably what everyone will remember it by. the rain bowl.
so jason: in answer to your question,